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Pete

Quotes?

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Mine changes from time to time but I really liked one that was on a birthday card I got from a mate, it read

"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle." - George Burns

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I have a few.

You cant polish a turd!

Theres no bad sex, just some better than others!

If it looks like a turd and smells like a turd, then its probably a turd!

If the caravans a rockin, dont come a knockin!

It may not be as long as the M6, but its just as busy!

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;) Lol...I like this one too

"There's 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't"

Edited by Pete

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"There's 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't"

:clapping:

Sadly I got this one.

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Hehe, it is a bit geeky. Also one that has to be written, no good trying to explain it verbally!!! Lol no need to worry about full blown geekage-p unless you just got that one though?!

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Not so much a quote, more a comment which became legendary throughout the Royal Engineers.

I was attending my Junior NCO promotion cadre in the late eighties. We had an RSM's (aka God) room inspection, needless to say the place was spotless. You could have eaten your dinner off the toilet floor!

RSM enters our room (4 men in it) looks around checking for dust etc.............holds his pace stick out horizontally and points it at my mate...

RSM: "What is that?"

My mate: "What Sir?"

RSM: "That, on the end of my stick"

My mate: "I dunno, Sir!"

RSM: It's ####, there's #### on the end of my stick!!!"

My mate "It's not at this end Sir!!!"

RSM Explodes!!!

His feet didn't touch the ground, straight to the pokey. Poor soul was beasted for the rest of the day. After the course even the RSM admitted it was one of the best comebacks he had ever heard.

Still makes me laugh out loud today :lol: :lol:

REgards

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Years ago when my dad was a foreman on building sites, he worked under a site agent who didnt like confrontation, who wouldnt come straight out and ask the question, but would go all around the houses. It went like this.

Site agent: I was driving home last night and i asked myself a question. And do you know what, i couldnt answer it!

Dad: Ask yourself an easier question next time then!

Genius!!

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Bit of a one for me and how I look at life... 'Its not the years in your life, but the life in your years'.

I also like, 'If your not living on the edge, you are taking up too much room'.

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Another I liked was back in the days I used to do karate. One of the boys was grading and was struggling when he was asked to do a particularly energy sapping kata he half collapsed, one of our senior black belts (who was an NCO in the Navy) caught him, hauled him back up and said "Son, just keep standing and keep breathing and you'll be fine" Lol, that one has stayed with me for years

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A great quote I believe to be from Charlie Chaplin: "It takes courage to make a fool of oneself" & "A day without laughter is a day wasted"

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